


We Don't Have To

by daisydiversions



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Mixed Media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-14
Updated: 2014-07-14
Packaged: 2018-02-08 18:22:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1951416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisydiversions/pseuds/daisydiversions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve posts memories of the past and hopes for the future on the Brooklyn Missed Connections board, knowing that they probably won't reach the person that he wants to connect to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Don't Have To

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thanks to Maggie, who audienced this fic, one heart breaking text message at a time, and who, when I asked, “Is this too trite and sappy to release to the public?”, answered, “It's Captain America fic. There is no upper limit on sappy.”

 

 

 

  


**Even when I had nothing, I had you – m4m (Brooklyn)**

It turns out it wasn't just all the stupid that you took with you. Come back to me. 

*

**Even when I had nothing, I had you – m4m (Brooklyn)**

 We used to go up to the roof to watch the fireworks. One year, Mr. Park gave you a bottle for helping fix his sink. I don't remember the kind or if it was watered down as much as you said, but when you took a swig before handing it over to me, the neck was warm and slick and it felt like a firecracker was going off in my chest when I thought about my mouth being where yours had been.

I can't get drunk anymore, but I can still feel that firecracker.

*

**Even when I had nothing, I had you – m4m (Brooklyn)**

I was a head strong scrapper who everyone said had too much idealism and not enough self preservation. You were always my ideal.

*

**Even when I had nothing, I had you – m4m (Brooklyn)**

When you said that you were with me until the end of the line, I thought that we were on the express to Bowling Green. It turns out we're doing the local to Flatbush ave, so stop trying to detrain.

*

**Even when I had nothing, I had you – m4m (Brooklyn)**

Do you remember the little kids with the wagons, collecting metal scraps for the war effort? How flour was a precious commodity? Now everything, it seems, is disposable- diapers, plates,cameras, you name it.

You aren't disposable to me.

Contact me. (At least so you can tell me how cheesy that last part was.)

*

**Even when I had nothing, I had you – m4m (Brooklyn**

My favorite part of going to the pictures was the newsreel. Yours was the cartoon before the feature. Do you think we would still go for just the film?

Let's find out.

*

**Even when I had nothing, I had you – m4m (Brooklyn)**

I have this little book that I carry around, full of what everyone thinks is the best of what I've missed while I was in the ice. I meet all kinds of people all over and they have opinions about everything. It's been about two years since I ran out into Time Square to find a billion flashing lights and cars that could all but fly.

There's a machine in my apartment that pushes out frigid air in the summer and another that spits out heat in the winter. There's about a dozen kinds of bread in the supermarket, none of which taste like the simple, warm loaves you mom made.

I have 20 of those little books and I want to work through each item, learning the future through what it means to the people living in it.

But, mostly, I want to work through the lists with you, because out of everything that I might have missed, 70 years with you will always be the top of my list.

*

**Even when I had nothing, I had you – m4m (Brooklyn)**

You always ate pie with a spoon. Said you liked scooping up all the juices.

*

**Even when I had nothing, I had you – m4m (Brooklyn)**

This one time, right after my mom got sick for the last time, I was out on the fire escape, trying to darn a sock. I was getting pretty frustrated, since I had no idea what I was doing.

You came and sat next to me. You just watched me struggle while rolling a cigarette (you never smoked near me because of the asthma so I'm not sure when you had the time to smoke them).

I couldn't tell you how long we sat out on that fire escape, but that sock didn't look any better by the time we went in, your shoulder pushed against mine the entire way.

After your mom passed, I taught you how to darn on that same step.

*

**Even when I had nothing, I had you – m4m (Brooklyn)**

We were raised to respect our elders, but whose older? Me, who was born almost a hundred years ago? Or our war comrade's son, whose lived consciously for at least 15 years more than me.

Either way, I want to spend my next birthday with you, whatever age I'm turning, wherever we are, whatever we are, regardless of what utensil you use to eat the cake.

*

**Even when I had nothing, I had you – m4m (Brooklyn)**

Did I ever mention that when you ate your pie like that it got all over and your lips would be tinted whatever color you were eating? I used to think about that a lot. Still do.

*

**Even when I had nothing, I had you – m4m (Brooklyn)**

Me: a newly minted captain, looking to prove himself.

You: an enlisted man, captured by the enemy

We hit it off for a while, did a lot of traveling together, but we lost touch a while back. I'm hoping to reconnect. Call me.

*

**Even when I had nothing, I had you – m4m (Brooklyn)**

James Buchanan was the only president to never marry.

*

**Even when I had nothing, I had you – m4m (Brooklyn)**

You loved to dance. You'd go over to the dance hall and swing with any dame that would let you, and sometimes by yourself if none were available.

When I came along, you'd pull a girl for me, too, thinking it'd convince me to stay later. Those nights usually turned to you having a girl on each arm and me watching from a corner table, but, at the end of it, you always came home with me.

Come home to me.

*

**Even when I had nothing, I had you – m4m (Brooklyn)**

I never take the bus anymore, but I remember when it was a treat. We'd take it to Coney Island for the boardwalk or to run along the beach until I was a little blue in the face and you were red from laughing in the sun.

There was a hurricane recently that tore up most of the old facades, but they rebuilt.

We should go check it out sometime and see how they did.

*

**Even though I have nothing, I still have you – m4m (Brooklyn)**

I have a phone that fits in my pocket and works almost anywhere above ground. It can take pictures and give directions and play games. The government can now use phones to track your location, like a homing device, and probably some non-government organizations have that technology, too.

So I have this phone. In case you need to find me.

*

**Even when I had nothing, I had you – m4m (Brooklyn)**

My CO has limited edition trading cards with us on them. What am I supposed to do with that?

*

**Even when I had nothing, I had you – m4m (Brooklyn)**

I know that you were joking, but after I moved in with your folks, I shinned your shoes every morning before you got up and took the garbage out every week. I never asked if you noticed. Let me ask you now?

*

**Even when I had everything, I'd been lost without you – m4m (Brooklyn)**

Today, I heard a woman tell her friend, “I'm only allowing myself to start one sentence a day with 'I remember.' Otherwise, you can get lost.”

*

**Bucky, come home – m4m (Brooklyn)**

You might never recognize what they've done to the building we grew up in, but I'll wait for you on the front stoop tomorrow, hoping you'll recognize what they've done to me.

*

**You don't have to get by on your own either – m4m (Brooklyn)**

I saw you in that bus when it went past. Take your time.

I'll come every morning until you're ready.

*

 


End file.
